Nothing

Introducing the ‘Do Nothing Technologies’ Blockchain-Based ICO

Today I am pleased to publicly announce the “Do Nothing for You” Initial Coin Offering (ICO). The Do Nothing Technologies (DNT) token sale will begin next month, and all are welcome to send their bitcoin and ethereum to the smart-contract protected DNT address. This crowd sale will offer tokens that have no purpose, assets that do nothing, and an upfront promise that our team will “do absolutely nothing for you,” but will make me very rich.

Also read: The Online Porn Industry Continues to Adopt Bitcoin for Payments

Announcing the “Do Nothing for You” Token Sale Offering Far More Promise Than Any ICO to Date

Introducing the 'Do Nothing Technologies' Blockchain-Based ICO

Interestingly enough I’ve found that I possess the skills to easily create a token sale utilizing a ‘virtual machine’ and a couple thousand bucks. My team and I have created a fantastic website covered with fancy little graphics, a place where you can read our white paper, and be able to purchase our DNT blockchain tokens. The white paper is very detailed with only a few paragraphs which were approved by my attorneys. It states the true intentions of the DNT token sale and the roadmap we’ve prepared for the future.

“The DNT sale is not an investment or a token that possesses any value,” explains our white paper filled with blockchain word salad and loosely related math. “The purpose of the “Do Nothing for You” blockchain is simple to understand. You give us bitcoins and ether, and we promise we will fill our pockets with wealth and not help you in the least.”

You can guarantee our tokens will have absolutely no benefit for you, but for us, it’s a different story.

99 Billion Tokens and the DNT Roadmap

The ‘Do Nothing’ team has decided to issue 99 billion tokens just because we can. 70 billion tokens will be initially distributed to developers and my family. This will increase digital scarcity and we “promise” these funds will be “locked up” in a time release smart contract. Additionally, we’ve added a timer to our website so investors feel like they should invest before time runs out. Furthermore, our team has invested some of our initial capital towards advertising in North America, but we must inform the residents from the U.S. that they are not allowed to invest in DNT.

The DNT roadmap explicitly details how we will use the ethereum and bitcoins you send to our fund. We can guarantee you won’t see any increased wealth from investing in DNT, but you can rest assure my family, and I will be purchasing Lamborghinis and a few homes in Switzerland. By the way, our company is registered in Antigua, and our office with a bar is located in the heart of the Canton of Zug.

Introducing the 'Do Nothing Technologies' Blockchain-Based ICO
I promise to buy a Lamborghini with DNT funds.

A Token That Does Nothing Is a Step Above the Rest

“Decentralized blockchain computation is here as DNT’s smart contract execution will distribute wealth to our development team and my family and friends,” explains CEO of the firm Do Nothing Technologies, Jamie Redman. “You can guarantee the DNT team will grow wealthier than our investors as our sole promise is to provide worthless tokens in exchange for ethereum and bitcoin.”

The DNT team has realized there is a blockchain token for literally every concept under the sun. From tokens that help you brush your teeth, gamified applications that help you choose clothes to wear, and even assets that can flush the toilet for you via smart contract technology. We thought there really is a token economy for everything and no one has created a token that does nothing — That day we gave birth to the DNT economy.

So if you are looking to invest in decentralized blockchain technology that makes my partners and my family wealthy, you’ve found the right ICO. We are somewhat confident there is no cryptocurrency technology offered to date that doesn’t do anything, and we’re proud to design a token that does just that. Every week or so there is a new ICO, but we believe DNT sets us apart from those offering digital assets with so many features. With DNT we’ve developed a technology that’s not bogged down by so many decentralized applications. Instead, we built a platform that will rise above the rest because our promises are real. We guarantee you nothing.

And, you can also be sure our ICO is better than any of all those other new ‘almost-do-nothing’ blockchain protocols, like Waynechain, a distributed ledger that claims to be the “greatest technological breakthrough of the 21st Century.”

What do you think about my ICO concept? Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Disclaimer: The DNT token sale, ICO, website, Do Nothing team, and all of the statements written above are completely fictional. The story is satire and meant to poke fun at some of the funny ICOs taking place every week.


Images via Jamie Redman, and Pixabay.


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  • Cian Dafe

    Shutup and take my money !

  • William Wanklyn

    You go Jamie.

  • RusAlexander

    Hey , Im investing alot of money to ICO and Im getting profit of it. ICO Is good

    • Joe Shmo

      I like that your team is issuing 99 billion tokens, but you’re doing it for the wrong reason! You see, in order for an operation with lofty goals such as DNT to succeed, you’re going to need all those coins for widespread distribution. This will help DNT get the traction they need to compete right away, and earning profits for your investors.

  • Hey, at least you are honest ;). Good parody man.

  • Great Article on the state of ICOs .. Laughing hahaha so true.

  • Brian Wachter

    Your blockchain will end up making something other than nothing a reality, somehow someway eventually. Thus I cannot support you at all–you have way too much upside.

  • Tim

    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

    You nailed it, Jamie!!!!!

  • keeps happining

    funny!

  • Global Services Ltda

    Good article.
    The penny stock mentality really has consumed the best contribution to “Liberty and Justice for All” to come along in a half a century.
    How much ca$h has Mark Cuban and his financial mafia collected from worthless ICO’s(IPO’s)? That sob is the king of worthless penny stocks and I have no doubt he is behind some of the trash being offered today as well as a few of the “BIG BROKERAGES:”
    I learned the investment banker mentality way back when I lived with one, a Notre Dame lawyer working for Bear Stearns. I assisted her on a weekend project to research and prepare the IPO for Dampa Oil, a worthless POS with absolutely nothing to offer investors but debt and loss of their investment. I assisted until I awakened to the reality, “This is fraud!”
    Her response, “You must never tell anybody you were involved with this or you may have big legal problems.” “These people are much bigger than you!”
    DUH! Fraud is a part of Wall St.?
    My crystal ball broke back in October of 1987 however I see in the near future, a US Government, SEC, IRS, Dpt of the Treasury (IRS), EU, Wall St., CMI, Hong Kong, FTSE, Singapore, IMF, Hague, UN, US Congress, Bilderburg Group, Democratic Party, Republican Party, Communist Party, World Bank, Oligarch’s United, Facists United, American Nazi Party, Socialist Party, SPCA, Texas Game Wardens nowadays known as “State Police,” and the Vatican/Baptist/Muslim/Lutherun/Methodist Alliance doing everything possible to make crypto currencies illegal and more important, reinforce distrust in crypto currencies so as to reinforce the status quo (fiat currency) that has been “securing our lives that follow the ant farm financial/political system for us and our children for so many years.”
    The flood of worthless ICO’s we see now support the fact a government is necessary and anarchy will never work.
    Those “who have” always take from those “who work hard so as to have.”
    Those words have a terrible taste, even with chili chipoltle, grilled chicken and tortillas.
    I would not be a bit suprised if the government/Fed/IMF/IRS/SEC do not have a hand in the ICO’s we have jamming ethereum channels.

    • Global Services Ltda

      I forgot to ask if you were drinking with the bikers at Sloppy Joe’s when you wrote the article.

  • Liberty88

    Pleass Jamie – do tell me where I can invest into this! Sounds fantastic!

    LOL…

  • ForexKing 562

    I’d invest into your DNT Token… lol. Just the fact that you were smart enough to create a token to scam ppl of millions, should give that token some kind of value. I’m saving all my scam tokens lol. Who knows, 10 years from now they all might be collectables, rare and hard to find, worth millions lol…

  • King Zaki

    Im pretty sure most people buy into to these scam ico’s to just flip it once it hits the exchanges.

  • bitfur

    The best comedy on ICO mushrooms , should be done well before ,
    Best time to buy coins is always on dips so take advantage of coins not ICOs 🙂

    • Ifemayowa Omotunde-Bank

      ICOs…… a whole new world of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

      However, there’s need not to give up completely…. but to make smart and well informed choice to invest in the real ones.

      I still can’t imagine i missed out on the ETH ICO…or the Humanique…. or the PBT ICO… or Monaco…. these are few of the great ICOs.

  • Philip Dartnell

    What a huge disappointment (or maybe I’ve misread it?). I had bitcoin out of cold storage with my finger poised ready to join what sounded so very promising but then find this ambiguous statement at the bottom:
    “Disclaimer: The DNT token sale, ICO, website, Do Nothing team, and all of the statements written above are completely fictional. The story is satire and meant to poke fun at some of the funny ICOs taking place every week.”
    So does that mean we can’t invest and get the DNT tokens?
    Kinda upset about that as it sure sounded like a winner…..

  • Michael Veloff

    Speaking of ICOs, I hope you don’t mind if I hijack your thread to introduce my Guaranteed Universal Life Policy ICO – GULP. LOLOL.

  • Leif Nielsen

    Dude. People would buy this just because it’s funny. Remember the potato salad Kickstarter asking for 10 bucks? Holy crap that guy made a lot of money.

    Do it.

  • dsdignite

    Where do i sign up! luv it..bahaha!

  • rurerapa

    Thank God it said it was satire at the bottom. I was worried for a second.

    • Acácio Da Rosa Florentino

      You can call me an idiot, but I REALLY thought it wasn’t a satire, lol!

  • John Candor

    SHUT UP AND TAKE MY ORGANS!

  • Phred89

    Hmmm. I think Bancor beat you to this… Marketing spin slightly different but 6 of one and 1/2 dozen of the other…

  • John Hallow

    *throws money at you*

    Too funny, it’s quite sad that it’s so close to the truth

  • RonnieT

    I put a personal ad up once asking for inheritance money for parents who’s children were jerks but nothing panned out as the church mafia already have them locked up. These guys are awesome. They should do well.

  • jsw

    Appreciate the good work here. However, I don’t want to break your blockedchain, but, I think your effort falls short.

    There may be value in coins with no value. However, there is a logic calculation error in your musing. If your coins are worth nothing, then they are worth something; nothing. Herein lies your error. Don’t worry however market forces (me) have already leap frog-ed all solutions and reached the final solution…so to speak.

    Me and my team are rolling out a crypcur which is worth less than nothing; in other words it has a value of infinite worthlessness. Our white paper could be exchanged for your coins because the paper contains the exact value of your coin; nothing.

    This achievement alone in the hypersensitive, ‘lawyers crap on everything, even nothing’, is a mile stone. Arrangements are being made for this seminal ‘blank slate’ of creativity and cutting edge thought to be gifted to the Smithsonian once the appropriate recognition of the valuelessness of our crypcur is elevated to it’s proper place with the helpful donations (BTC preferred) of others who value an infinite measure of worthlessness in the market place of meaninglessness.

    By the way, we are an altruistic lot. So, by a silent majority vote, which carried by an undisclosed margin, it was held that whatever we have left over after our continuous rounds of funding rounds is complete, we will forward****

    ****attach your key to this email and we’ll be in touch.

  • Damn! Beat me to PetRockCoin!

  • Our company is doing an ICO backed by real assets and production. One of the issues we are debating is how to manage fund administration through a public ledger. In other words, the founders and managers of the company do not want to personally manage the allocations and disbursements to vendors, contractors, service providers, etc.

    At no point, will funds be controlled or accessed by anyone other than token holders-escrow agent. All funds are to be wired directly into contractors, vendors and service providers accounts with contractor scheduling. Funds are administered and allocated by token holders. The management. team does not control funds at any time. Disbursements are in accord with build-out schedule and proof-of-work, invoices for work completed are submitted and third party on-site certification (i.e. County Judge, County Commissioner, etc.) and hundreds of on-site security cameras that any token holder can access 24/7 from any web browser enabled device.

    How could this be achieved?

  • Bill Werts Jr

    This is awesome in every single way.

  • Tom

    If you make this, I will invest at least $20.